I Just Wanted to Grind Egusi… Instead, I Became the Egusi 😂💀

Me: “The microwave was a monster. But THIS one looks simple.” 😌

Five minutes later: covered from head to toe in egusi dust. 💀

“It has exploded like a tiny bomb! IT MADE DUST, NOT FOOD!”

Meanwhile, the dog is sitting nearby, watching the entire disaster unfold.

Dog: “This is better than Pounding Box! She’s a certified dust-master!” 😂

Honestly, why does every modern kitchen gadget promise to make life easier and somehow turn the kitchen into a crime scene?

All I Wanted Was Some Ground Egusi

Egusi is one of those ingredients that seems simple enough.

You put it into a machine.

You press a button.

You wait.

Done.

At least, that’s what I thought.

Instead, five minutes later, my kitchen looked like someone had opened a bag of flour in a hurricane.

There was egusi on the counter.

Egusi on the floor.

Egusi on my clothes.

And somehow, there was even egusi in places I was certain egusi had no business being.

I stood there in complete disbelief.

The machine had technically done its job.

The egusi was ground.

But it had also apparently decided to redecorate the entire kitchen.

The Dog Was No Help

I looked at my dog.

He looked at me.

I looked at the pile of egusi dust.

He looked at the pile of egusi dust.

Then he looked back at me with the expression of someone who had just witnessed the greatest entertainment of his life.

No sympathy.

No concern.

Just judgment.

I could almost hear him thinking:

“And you people said modern technology would make life easier?”

Give Me the Old Way!

At that moment, I started missing the traditional methods.

Yes, pounding or grinding ingredients the old-fashioned way takes effort.

Yes, your arms may complain afterward.

But at least you know where the food is going!

With modern appliances, you can press one button and suddenly find yourself standing in an egusi snowstorm.

Technology promised:

Less work.

What I received:

More cleaning.

The Real Lesson

Every kitchen gadget looks innocent when it’s sitting quietly on the counter.

It whispers:

“I’m easy to use.”

“I’m going to save you time.”

“You don’t need to work hard anymore.”

Then you turn it on.

BOOM.

Five minutes later, you’re covered in food, your dog is laughing at you, and you’re wondering whether returning to manual labor might actually be easier.

But at least there was one success.

The egusi was ground.

Eventually.

After cleaning half the kitchen.

After changing my clothes.

After questioning every decision that led me there.

And after giving my dog the most judgmental look I could manage.

Never Underestimate Egusi

So here’s my advice:

If you’re about to use a new kitchen gadget for the first time, start slowly and follow the manufacturer’s instructions.

Don’t overfill the container.

Make sure the lid is properly secured.

And if you’re grinding dry ingredients, check that the appliance is actually designed for that job.

Because the goal is to make dinner—not become part of the recipe.

And if something goes wrong?

Just remember:

You didn’t fail.

You simply discovered a new way to make egusi.

One that comes with a complimentary facial treatment. 😂💀

Modern kitchen technology: 1.
Me: 0.
Dog: undefeated. 😭😂